So I was about to do the next chap of Badge of Love as minna asked for it ^^ LOLZ,,,, when i felt so strongly into writing this other fic,,, i was really moved seeing the video of Leona Lewis - Footprints in the Sand [though i can assure you that the fic is nothing like the song],,, i just somehow imagined what if "THAT" thing happens to me,,, what should i do? how would i react?...
naf said, WARNING: if you dont like tears to fall down into your eyes then avert it coz this one made me cry...
[douzo]
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Title: When the Rain Falls
Author: muchie05
Pairing: AKAME
Genre: idk, Romance? Angst?
Disclaimer: they own each other and I’m just here to fangirl
Summary: It was never easy to forget when you know you can’t let go!
A/N: I never dreamt of writing this but somehow I wanted to know how it feels to have just like this,,, for once!
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It was always been like this for him, 50yrs have now passed and he is still affected when it’s raining specially like this, the usual down pour of the rain doesn’t bother him much at all, but when the weather is like this, seeming to always remember that particular day, making him feel that special day, coloring the sky gray hiding the sun under the thick clouds that holds that rain that he knew will fall for hours and so, had he on the days like this just couldn’t help but keep on remembering that day, that day that his hope, his love, his life and his soul was snatched away from him.
Remembering it as if it was just yesterday’s event, seeing clearly that warm smile that was directed at him and only at him, that special bright smile that clearly lifts up ones spirit when that smile is given to anyone, he couldn’t believe that he, Akanishi Jin is the recipient of that loveliest smile
He was at the farmhouse of his uncle for a much needed summer vacation, he had started working since he was 10 yrs old and seeing that he is now physically and emotionally exhausted, no longer having fun like any other boy of his age so his loving uncle and aunt invited him on their ranch so he can at least be away from all those limelight though looking back again it was a summer that particularly been raining more than ever, one could even think that it was not summer at all as again he is stuck inside the barn for there was no fun in walking in a muddy ground, so he was lazing at the farmhouse minding his own business occasionally checking on the horses and other animals finding some entertainment out of playing with them when all of a sudden he heard a loud thud like a falling sack followed by a small whimper of pain
“Whose there?” asked Jin trying to find where the sound came from
“Please can you please help me, I think I have hurt my ankle..” whimpered by the other voice and Jin cannot decipher if that voice came from a girl or a boy as the words where very softly spoken in between sobs
Jin locating where the voice came from halted his footsteps at the back of the haystack, looking down at the small body that is hunched over as if while doing that the pain will cease away
“Are you ok?” worriedly Jin said going the other way so he is now directly in front of the hunched body but not seeing the face of the injured as the injured long brown hair is covering the face and slightly touching the slender shoulders I bet that hair is soft to touch and will be silky when I run my fingers on it,, Jin was surprised that he was thinking like that at a times like this there was that thought that was crossing his mind
Delicately taking the left leg of the other into his hand for closer inspection and after Jin’s inspection seeing that the ankle has no sign of broken bones only a slight swelling and that is a good sign probably just a swelled vein and that can heal faster just don’t over use the leg foot
While Jin was holding the injured foot he cannot help but be amazed on how soft the foot of the other was, the soft indentation of the injured instep that was perfectly curved until the ball of the foot’s heel, and on a closer inspection the foot was just perfect in color, texture and softness, Jin concluded that he love those kind of feet
And slowly raising his eyes from the foot of the injured to the exposed hairless leg up the dainty knee and covered jogging pants thigh to the small waist to the candle like shaped fingers wiping the tears from the face while he other hand is slowly reaching to Jin’s arms as if asking for support
Then the injured looks at Jin…
“Ano, sorry for troubling you about my clumsiness, I was just about to leave here when I decided on reaching that umbrella on the hook and I think that the footstool slips and I lost my balance” explained by now a clearly looking boy that has the most amazingly girlish features while trying to stand up and grasping Jin’s right arm to steady himself
Jin kept on staring at the luscious lips with just the right amount of redness on it, that cheeks that is still tears strained by the most lovely almond shaped eyes that have ever seen in his life and he judged that if the boy is not crying one can see the eyes twinkling with pure happiness with laughter, Jin was out of breath just by staring at that face, he couldn’t believe that there was a human being capable of looking this lovely and hiding here at the ranch
“It’s alright, are you sure you are ok?” snapping Jin asked for the welfare of the other boy, “What is your name, do you live nearby here?” questioned Jin’s as he will surely know if someone lives nearby his uncle’s ranch for he is sure that his uncle will tell him so himself
“Hai, I’m alright I think,,, ah, gomenasai, I’m Kamenashi Kameya desu” the boy said while trying to bow and awkwardly putting his left foot down and the pain shooting up his ankle made him buckle under his weight and he surely thought that he will once again hit the muddy floor
But then again two strong arms caught him in time before he totally fell at the ground
“I don’t think you are alright” Jin said while hugging the smaller boy close to his chest, he knows that he can easily let him go after catching him in time but he felt so good just holding him like that, he also knows that their faces should not even be that close only an inch separating their lips into kissing kissing, that is one of his many reasons for going away from the limelight he had been really wary at things like this, he had learned his lessons and he don’t want to go there again
“Akanishi-san, are you alright? asked the younger boy though the boy find it really surprising that he is liking this being hugged like this by Akanishi-san
Kame’s face was just inch away from the older boy and he felt so much the desire to close his eyes and just let the other boy do want he wants to do to with him but something kept him willed to just stare at the other boy’s face, this handsome guy in front of him with clear smooth forehead and perfectly arched eyebrows over the hazel brown eyes that he wondered if those pair of eyes changes its color when he feels differently, and topping it off by having the most kissable lips that he have seen at this close distance, he felt this is heaven already and he can just be like this forever
“Ahh, yes im fine” said Jin shaking the this feeling of lost as he is no longer have any physical contact with the other boy, “Can I call you Kame-chan?” as he said the name his heart made a special skipping beat as if the his heart likes what he just said now, “And please call me Jin” he finished
“Jin. . .” somehow that word that Kame uttered made him so happy he cannot help but smile at Jin and flashing him his loveliest smile
Jin chooses to sit at his favorite place facing the now invisible sun and turning his head seeing as bits and pieces of his memories involving those precious days plays non stop on his head not minding that the billowing of the wind is bringing strong gush of rain water and making his now damp sweater even wetter
Jin remembers all that has happen that summer while enjoying it with Kame-chan, oh how he remembers bringing him home after that accident carrying the little boy at his back, and he was not even surprised that he weighed so light that it was not a trouble for Jin at all carrying Kame, the faces of the parents of Kame who works on a nearby small farm adjacent to his uncle’s ranch was just comical come to think of it, finding their son riding piggy back style at this new boy that may pass as devilishly handsome with one foot swelling and after that first meeting he remembered how inseparable they have become, sometimes Jin will just stay at Kame’s place overnight and seeing firsthand on how delicately his parents dots on him, and Jin thought then that probably its because Kame looks more like a girl than a boy and as an only son he deserves to be pampered, or so he thought
He remembered that they both loves to swim and as there was a nearby man made stream at his uncle’s ranch that was being used for the irrigation for the farmers crops, both Kame and Jin loves to bask there when it was not raining or if they both feel hot and just playfully push each other there
On Jin’s memory he particularly liked to always remember that day in the stream when he finally realizes his feelings and knew something about Kame
“Ei, Kame-chan, lets go, hurry up I feel so sticky already” sweat covered Jin tries his best to cool himself but no luck as he just feel more hot as ever waiting patiently a the front door of Kame’s house
“Mom, I’ll be alright don’t worry!” shouted Kame almost running away from his following mother, bearing a worried face that Jin just smiled sheepishly at the on looking mom
“Suimasen,, I’ll take care of Kame-chan, will be back before dinner” shouted Jin as he is being literally dragged by the now running Kame, Jin made a second look at the mother and seeing Kame’s mother in the act of wiping her eyes as if she’s crying
Jin thought that was weird, he saw lately that Kame’s parents are becoming more and more protective of their son but Jin thought that surely swimming with him at the stream doesn’t pose so much danger though sometimes Jin has a problem keeping his hands to himself as he sometimes fleetingly and unknowingly touches Kame here and there
“Jinnnn,,, I’ll race you to the stream, the loser will serve the winner” shouted Kame and being in front of Jin he had made a good start
“Ah,,,, unfair Kazu..” Jin said and mockly running behind the younger boy who he fondly calls Kazu when its just the two of them, for he wants the other boy win this game that Jin felt Kame was planning all along
Reaching the stream first was Kame followed closely by Jin who is now more sweaty by his sweat and Jin stare at Kame for he cannot believe that the other boy doesn’t even have any perspiration after running all that way. Jin removes his shirt feeling that without that damp cotton shirt he will feel cooler
Kame at that same instantly looked at Jin and was a bit embarrassed as he turned his head simultaneously while Jin is removing his shirt with his hands up and his shorts dipping a little too low at his hips, Kame felt himself blushing at the sight of such beautiful body that Kame once hugged those indentation at his navel and that belly button with trail of hair going below, Kame silently asked for forgiveness for what he is seeing now is sin personified, averting his eyes and pretending to do something Kame spread the blanket that Jin brought and bending low started laying out some o the snacks that he brought
Jin now shirtless looked at what Kame is doing, he saw the other boy bending over the snacks that he is preparing and saw something really strange that he sat directly at the back of the other boy spoon style and check Kame’s exposed neckline just at the back of his neck, , , there was a black patch and on closer inspection Jin saw that it was a bruise, those kind of bruise that one can get if they are beaten up by a hard material or beaten up by a gang
“Kazu what’s this on your neck?” said Jin directly at the back of Kame that made the other jump and lost his balance, good thing that Jin is a his back cradling him in between his thighs so the other boy did not fall forward but only made him draw closer to Jin and feel his entire body
“Ahhh, that one, , , you know im such a clutz so I bumped somewhere, hehe” said Kame casually dismissing any further question from Jin as Kame chooses that precise moment to turn around to see face to face the older boy
And their lips met.
Jin remembered that he properly kissed Kame after that and that Kame responded with all earnest as well, it was such a special day for him that after he had kissed Kame with all that he got Jin blurted out his confession of loving Kame and further explaining that it maybe absurd to think that they are both guys but he never minded that, he just wanted to tell Kame his feelings that he had been keeping all this time, he can honestly say that he had loved a lot of people from both the business and outside it but no one can compare to the happiness that he felt when he is specially with Kame, on times like this nothing grand, nothing fancy, just the two of them sharing this wonderful feeling of being close
But Jin remembered also that instead of seeing that bright smiles that Kame always gives him when he say something foolish or totally uncalled for he saw that Kame was all tears looking at Jin’s eyes
Feeling a little cold from the much stronger rain drizzles that touches Jin’s wrinkled face and hands, he went inside the old house, bypassing the fireplace and heading all the way to his room, he was about to slowly climb the stairs when his memory points him at that heartache
Kame run away from Jin after hearing Jin’s confession of love, he couldn’t take that, not now, he don’t need this kind of things, not now not ever, he doesn’t know where to go but head back to his sanctuary in his parents house.
Jin seeing Kame crying puzzled him after quickly putting on his now dry shirt run away following Kame towards their house, he caught up with the younger boy at the front of his house
“Kazu, did I just say something that offended you, I’m sorry, I know I’m demanding a lot from you, first to try to understand me and my weird confession and pushing to you my love, I know its all too sudden but at least don’t go like that crying, if you want to reject me for not feeling the same way then tell it to me now so I can stop my nonsense!” Jin tried explaining what he feels deep down in his heart and in the process grabbed Kame’s left hand to try to stop the other boy in climbing more the stairs
“Jin, it’s not like that, you don’t understand” Kame said while still flows of tears falls from his eyes
“Then tell me what it is, I want to know” Jin coaxed the younger boy in telling him what’s wrong
It took a few more minutes before the younger boy talks to Jin as if trying to find words on how to tell Jin what he feels
“I believed that God loves me more and more everyday, and that to make it more special he sent you to me, my very own angel, I remember you where there at the barn and helping me a lot and being with me ever since that day, I love it, everyday when I open my eyes your face is the first one that comes into my mind, your laugh are the ones that echoes inside my mind, before I sleep I think of you, praying to all those dream angels to make our dream line meets so even at sleep we can be with each other, together like this and I was hoping that I could have it like this, just like this. . . then you said you loved me,” paused Kame as it was getting harder and harder for him to speak as if his chest is being constricted right now. . . “and I love you Jin, I do with all my heart. . . but we cannot be together. . . ” trailed off Kame
“To hell with those people who will judge us, I don’t care, if being with you means I will have to walk away with everything and everyone then I will do that, you mean more to me than them… Kazu I can have another sets of friends,,, another sets of material things,,, another kind of lifestyle,,, but I cannot have another you Kazu…” Jin couldn’t keep his feelings checked and he just feels hot droplets of salt water trickled down his cheeks while he was trying to cup the face of his beloved Kame as if by doing that he can let the other boy see his point and believe what he is saying now
“Kazu,,, please you’re all I need” begged Jin and he never cares now if Kame’s parents will see them like this, he just want to feel the beating of Kame’s heart
“Jin, I cant” and with that Kame freed himself from the arms of Jin and quickly run and closed his room, as if all the life in Jin is now slipping away from him a hand touched his head and he looked up
“I think Akanishi-kun, we need to talk” said Kame’s mother gently said to him and Jin knows that Kame’s mom heard all that had been said between Kame and Jin
With Kame’s mom and Jin alone in the den sitting on opposite chair, Jin letting his emotions subside and Kame’s mom waiting for Jin to settle before she starts talking
“You know Akanishi-kun I like what you did with my son,,,” she started, “You made my son smile more frequently again, act like his age again, find time to sing again while over nothing or small things, I saw the old Kame again on him since the day you arrived here carrying him on your back, and I really really am thankful for you about that,,,” she said as bowing low to express her gratitude
“. . . but I think that for this time I may have to ask you to leave him” she continued
Those words hurt Jin so much, he knows that the first people that will oppose on his love for Kame will be his parents but he will not back down just like that, he is prepared to fight for Kame, and Jin believes that what he felt for Kame is something worth it
“Okasan, I know you wouldn’t accept it, me,,, loving your son, I know its weird and I know its not right but, since when did loving someone been viewed as not right?” explained Jin
“Akanishi-kun,,, when loving someone it entails more sacrifices and responsibilities and sometimes heartaches are part of it, are you prepared for those?” she softly asked Jin as if gauging his answer and if his answer is correct then he might just get his answers to all of Jin’s question on why Kame behaved that way
“I do not consider myself experienced enough on this matter, all I know is that I have loved before and I got hurt and I have learned that the best way to learn from it is to love all over again, some may take a while to love again and some may love so soon, and for me I have been burned by my previous relationships and finding Kame here, realizing on how much I love him and wanted to love him even more is what I desired most than anything in the world” Jin himself cannot believe on how deep his feelings are for Kame hearing it as he say it in front of Kame’s mom
“Then are you prepared to just love Kame for a short while?” she uttered those words as if it literally pained her just by saying those words and Jin can see that at the corner of Kame’s eyes he saw tears
“I, , , what do you mean okasan by loving him for a short while only,, I don’t understand..” bewildered and seemingly lost for words Jin asked
“Akanishi-kun, my son, Kame has been battling bone cancer for the last 2 years now, , , and last night we took him to the nearby hospital to have his regular check up and the doctors there said that his illness progresses even more, we took him there last month and the doctors told us that he will only be able to live it through for the next couple of weeks, and to the amazement of the doctors at the hospital he is still alive now, but no one knows now on when his illness will attack him, we tried ever since we found out that he had bone cancer to bring him to the hospitals outside this town but we cannot find any match for him,,, then gradually, Kame being Kame, just spoke to us to just have his normal doze of check ups and medicines but no special treatment as he said that as much as possible he wants to live his life normally, he was so set on that, refusing any ideas that me and his dad hints on him for a new treatment, he will just shrug and laugh it off saying he is still strong and healthy as anyone in the own, but I know my own son, less and less he tires easily, not going out of the house or even his room, laughing less, smiling less, then that day when he just decided to go on your uncle’s barn saying out of the blue that he will just find an angel to guide him, you appeared on our door step carrying Kame on your back” finished Kame’s mom in between sobs
Jin recalls the black almost like patched on Kame’s neck was now a result of his illness
“So I truly believed that you added extra precious days to my son, but I guess he is just as confused as you are now,,, give him some time to think and I believe that if fate decided to put two hearts together no matter what happens, no matter how many days or years it will be, both hearts will still find each other” Kame’s mom stands up and placed a kiss on top of Jin’s head that is still bent lower trying to hide the never ending flow of tears soaking his shirt again
“Ano, okasan, can you just please tell Kazu once he goes down or you see him on his room that I’ll never give up and that he too should not give up” Jin said and headed out to the door
Outside as if the sky heard all that has been spoken inside the house was now dark gray with heavy winds howling and drizzles are slowly being sent down to earth and once Jin was outside the flood of heavens opened up to him and mixing his tears with the rain, Jin couldn’t help but slumped down on his knees and pound the ground questioning fate on its cruelty on playing with him with Kame,,, and behind the man on the ground, Kame heard everything that his mom and Jin talked about, watched through his window, with tears falling down on his face the only person he ever did love after knowing he will not live long suffers at the heartache that this love is bringing them
What time was it already, Jin asked, slowly getting up from the bed and noticing that even after all those years, he still shed tears just remembering that day, Jin made his way to the kitchen and took out a bottle of water as he knows this is his medicine time, he placed 2 pills prescribed by him by his doctor on top of the kitchen sink and took a glass and just stop, pressing hard onto his constricting chest and trying hard to gasp air, and Jin felt the darkness envelopes him
“Good morning Kame-chan”
“Good afternoon Kame-chan”
“Good evening Kame-chan”
It was like this everyday for Jin, always stopping by at Kame’s window and greeting him and giving him a bit and pieces of what he did for that time, though for the past week now no answer has been given to him, but Jin was more than anything determined to just let his love feel that he is not afraid to take chances or anything, he wants Kame to open up his heart to him, he already knows that he has Kame’s heart but he wants the younger boy to totally trust him, to totally be one with him, one hope, one love, one life and one soul, and as always Kame’s mom will be the one to answer Jin back and they will have a short chat then off Jin to his uncle’s barn to help out on anything just to keep his mind from wandering back to Kame and might result to him barging on Kame’s room just to be able to see the other boy
“Good afternoon Kame-chan” shouted Jin and just like before he thought he might just add a few anecdote of what happen to him this whole day so he continued
“Kame-chan, you know I feel so lucky today I saw one of my uncle’s dog gave birth to 6 puppies and I was thinking of getting one for you but I don’t know if you will like the one that I will pick up for you so if you are not busy minding your own business you might want to come down and see me?” all the while Jin was looking at the opposite site of the house turning his back at the house so he did not see a figure coming closer to him, hugging him at his waist from behind…
Though Jin cannot see the person hugging him he knew instantly that it was his love Kame as his now erratically beating heart leaps out of joy from being close again to its other half
“Jinnn,,, I’m so sorry!” sobs Kame still hugging Jin from behind
“Husssshhh,,, don’t start saying things like that, what matters to me now is that you are here, finally, so I can see your lovely eyes,,” when Jin say this he turned to look at Kame, cupping his angelic face again and kissing all the tears that came out from those lovely eyes,,, “and just to be with you like this, treasuring all this awakening sensation of your body next to mine, and just loving the way we fit each other,,, no Kazu I am not sorry at all” said Jin and before awaiting for any response from the other boy, Jin kissed Kame full on the mouth softly and lingering, caressing the fullness of the mouth that he cannot get enough of, he wants to taste everything and share the happiness of it with his love, his Kame, his kisses fluttered over the tip of Kame’s nose, his cheekbones, the closed eyelids the perfectly arching jaw line and back to the awaiting lips that is now partially open as if breathing for Kame is becoming shallow and gaspy
Kame wanted to blame himself for hiding for a week from Jin when he should have had more time with Jin and as if sensing this Jin broke their kiss and whispered to him,, “We don’t have to rush Kazu we have all the time we can borrow” and Jin placed another sweet kiss on Kame’s lips and Jin saw for the first time that Kame lost weight again and he now has more dark patches on his arms and some light bruises on his face, and one by one, Jin placed lingering kiss on those that he can see to show the other boy that nothing changed he is still here loving him
“Kazu, are you feeling alright? Can you talk a stroll just over there not far from here..” Jin asked, for he wants Kame to see something that he have been planning since last week to show to Kame
“Sure, Jin when I’m with you I feel a lot better” and I feel safe and I feel I could fly just out of happiness because I’m with you, thought Kame
Jin lead Kame on an overlooking clip near his uncle’s ranch it was high enough that no other person can see them sitting on the top and leaning on the big willow tree that it’s branches dances along with the swaying of the wind, below them if the magnificent view of the sun setting
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devious
finding jinjin
gambarimasu
i'm dead hurt!!!
tired
busy
uncomfortable
amused
bored
crushed