I am in love with Jin Akanishi. Period.

[One Shot] Unspoken Promise

2008-06-22T11:24:55Z

Title: Unspoken Promise
Author: aijin_jin_17
Pairing: Akame
Genre: Fluff, Romance, Fluff, Angst, more Fluff
Rating: Totally Safe
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but Jin and Kame own my heart..♥
Summary: Will Jin and Kame be able to give themselves and their relationship another shot?

Sequel to Apologies and Five Teardrops.. ^^

Jin continued to walk, taking note of Kame’s presence yet unknowing of the tears that had fallen from the younger man’s eyes. Jin headed to the bathroom of their dressing room and locked himself inside. Meanwhile, Kame slipped out of the room quietly. He just couldn’t stand being in there any longer.

Jin turned to face the mirror and a very tired face looked back at him. There were bags under his eyes and what’s more, his arms and legs felt like they weighed a ton.

But the burden he carried in his heart hurt him even more. A long time ago, he could take on the physical pain because at the end of the day, he’d always see Kame giving him a reassuring smile. But now, they barely even made eye contact, and he had no one to take the pain away.

Jin heaved a long sigh, turned on the faucet and let the cool water run through his fingers. After gathering a handful of it, he splashed some onto his face, making himself feel more refreshed. Then he dried his face, unlocked the door and peered around. He wasn’t surprised that Kame was no longer there. He probably would’ve left too if he were in the younger man’s place.

But still feeling tired after a long day’s work, he decided to sit on the sofa and have a short rest before going home. Jin happened to sit on the space Kame had occupied earlier and he found that it was still warm. He didn’t mind though. It was a good kind of warmth and it made him feel comfortable.

As he moved to lie down, Kame’s scent wafted through his nose, sending a stream of memories to his head, making him feel nostalgic. But nonetheless, the scent was the closest thing to Kame that he had, so he was happy that he was able to be next to it. As he continued to inhale Kame’s essence, his eyes began to droop and within a few moments, he was sound asleep and a small smile was playing on his face.

An hour and a half later, Kame returned to the dressing room after having a talk with their manager about KAT-TUN’s upcoming projects. He saw his band mates, except Jin, leaving earlier but he assumed that the older man had gone home too.

He was about to leave too after collecting his things but he suddenly heard soft sobs coming from behind the sofa. Dropping his bag, he tiptoed quietly to see who it was. And upon seeing Jin, he was taken aback.

“Now this is an unusual sight to see.” thought Kame.

The older man was asleep yet tears were continuously streaming down his face. In Kame’s long years with Jin, never before had he seen the older man cry. Jin looked almost like a lost boy when he cried and Kame didn’t know what to do.

“Should I wake him up?” Kame asked himself. He was having second thoughts about it when another idea came in. “What if he’s having a nightmare and he never wakes up?”

The thought scared him so he moved closer to Jin and he was about to nudge him awake when the older man uttered something. They were unintelligible at first but after straining his ears, Kame caught the words.

“Kame… I’m so sorry, please forgive me…” Jin kept muttering over and over again as he continued to sob.

Kame stopped dead. His heart suddenly felt like it was being crushed and he couldn’t breathe. He felt a lump rising in his throat and he dropped down to his knees, unable to stop his tears from falling.

Jin awakened the moment he heard someone whimpering. He shot up from the sofa and he was surprised to find that there were tears on his eyes and on his face too. He wiped them away and turned his eyes on the figure next to him.

“Kame—nashi?” Jin asked reluctantly.

“What is it, Akanishi?” Kame replied after a few seconds without looking up. There go the poison coated names again. How he hated them.

“Are you okay?” came Jin’s soft voice.

“Please don’t use that tone with me.” Kame pleaded in his mind. “You don’t know what it does.”

“Don’t ask me. You were the one crying just a while ago.” Kame answered calmly, trying to stop more of his tears from falling.

“But I’m not the one crying now, am I? And besides, I was just having a bad dream, that’s all.

“And was I the monster?” Kame asked; his eyes still on the floor.

“Huh?”

“You were saying my name while you were crying. Am I that scary?”

Jin remembered. He was having a dream about Kame. Trying to think of a reason, Jin said, “Uh, I wasn’t—“

“How long has it been?” Kame cut him off and looked up him. His tears have stopped falling now, but Kame still had a pained expression on his face.

Jin looked back at him, confused. “How long has what been?”

“Since we last called each other by our first names.”

Jin was taken aback at the question and he pondered for a while. “Hmmm. For years already, I guess.”

“Don’t you think it’s strange that we just stopped one day?” Kame pushed on. He was surprised at his own bluntness and Jin was at a loss for words.

Kame waited and when Jin didn’t answer at all, he suddenly said, “I have to go now.”

Jin was snapped back to his senses and he held his hand up. “No! Don’t leave yet. I- I’m sorry. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

“Oh.” Kame replied and moved up to sit on the opposite side of the sofa and he lifted his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them. Jin meanwhile kept staring at the floor and fumbling with his fingers.

Both were silent for a long time till Jin finally voiced out, “We both have changed so much, haven’t we?”

“I know.” Kame replied softly. “Back then, we’ve always been at ease with each other but something happened and I don’t know what. Do you?”

Jin shook his head and answered “I don’t know either. We just grew apart for some reason.”

“But it didn’t mean that we should have changed the way we treated each other.”

“Yeah, I wish we had realized that earlier. We’ve wasted so much time.”

“Do you think it was because you left for L.A.?” there was a pang in Kame’s voice as he said those words.

“I don’t know. And I’m sorry for leaving you. You must really hate me for that.” Jin said guiltily.

Kame reached out and touched Jin’s hand. “Don’t be sorry. I know you were chasing after your dream. And who am I to stop you? It’s just that seeing you leave really hurt.”

“But if you told me that you didn’t want me to leave, I would’ve stayed. Everyone, except you asked me to stay, you know.”

“Are you trying to make me feel guilty?” Kame pouted.

Jin gave a slight chuckle but then his expression turned somber.

Kame noticed it and said, “What’s wrong now?”

Jin fumbled with his fingers once more. “I’m also sorry for making you cry.”

“Who told you that I cried?” Kame asked.

“No one. I know you well enough to tell if you’ve been crying.”

“Please, don’t be so full of yourself.” Kame replied jokingly.

They laughed for a short while but silence overcame them till Jin broke it once more. “Did you ever regret meeting me, Kame?”

Kame looked up. “Why do you ask that?”

“It’s just that I always seem to make you mad with the stupid things I do. Sorry.”

“I’d never ever regret meeting you, Jin. Sure, you do a lot of stupid things but you’ve made me smile more than all the people I know combined.” Kame replied, blushing slightly.

“And I’m also sorry for acting cold towards you ever since I returned.” Jin added.

“You’ve been apologizing for a lot of things today. But I’m sorry for the times I ignored you too.” Kame smiled and edged closer to Jin, resting his head on the older man’s shoulder. He was feeling sleepy and he closed his eyes.

“It’s nice,” Kame thought. “Laying here while Jin’s warmth flows through me.”

Jin’s heart was racing. He had already apologized for everything except one. And it was the most important one of all. For it was the apology that he’d been keeping in his heart for many years and he never dared to mention it to anyone.

Taking slow, deep breaths, he said, “Kame?”

“Mmmm?” Kame mumbled.

“There’s one more thing I forgot to apologize for.”

“What is it?” Kame replied without opening his eyes. He was already sleepy after all.

“I’m sorry that it’s only now that I tell you how much I love you.” Jin whispered while nuzzling his nose on Kame’s soft hair, relishing the sweet smell he had always loved.

Kame’s eyes shot open, forgetting his sleepiness. “What did you say?” he said disbelievingly.

Jin rested his forehead on Kame’s head and repeated, “I said I’m sorry that it’s only now that I tell you how much I love you.”

Kame felt disoriented for a few seconds. He couldn’t believe his own ears. But the words he so longed to hear were finally spoken and he embraced those words like a breath of fresh air.

Looking straight into Jin’s eyes, Kame replied breathlessly, “I love you too. I always have.” and he planted a kiss on Jin’s lips.

And Jin kissed him back, full of passion and intensity. At last, they were back were they belonged.

It was love— they both knew it. But it was also something much deeper. It was the caring bond they thought they had lost. But it was there all along. It just got buried underneath their selfishness and pride.

And now, a new chapter to their story begins. But this time, they were both sure that no matter what changes may happen, they’d never let each other go again. It was a promise that only their hearts could hear. It was an unspoken promise they’d always keep.

-END-

A/N: This sequel wasn’t supposed to be written but someone just had to convince me with pouting pictures of Akame.. Now that’s just cruel!.. XDDDDD.. jkjkjkjkj.. Someone also threatened to kill me if I didn’t write this.. So.. LoL.. Here it is.. Hope I didn’t disappoint anyone.. ROFL.. And take care guys, okay?.. *huggles everyone*

[Drabble] Apologies

2008-06-14T03:28:05Z

Title: Apologies
Author: aijin_jin_17
Pairing: Akame
Genre: Angst, angst, angst
Rating: Totally Safe
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but Jin and Kame own my heart..♥
Summary: Jin apologizes.. (I suck at summaries.. Sorry..T_T)

A response to Kame's Five Teardrops..

Jin stared at the floor as he kept walking past the corridor. Somehow, everything in his life had taken a wrong turn. He made a lot of mistakes in the past years, including this one. And all that he could do was apologize.

***

He had sensed all of Kame’s sadness that day. He would be leaving for L.A. soon and they were holding a press conference. The younger man had a smile on his face but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes that was overshadowed by the cameras and the flashes of light. But Jin saw past everything.

And he whispered under his breath…

“I’m sorry for leaving you.”

***

Ever since he came back from L.A., things had never been the same. Maybe it was just him, or maybe it was even the both of them. So in order to protect himself, Jin built a wall around himself, and around his heart.

But even so, he wanted to tear down that wall and tell Kame…

“I’m sorry for being cold towards you.”

***

He had a habit of immediately speaking what was in his mind without giving the ideas a second thought. His words were often harsh but he didn’t mean most of them. Yet the hurt those words cause were more painful than all of the physical wounds Kame had ever experienced put together.

And every time Jin said those words, he also wanted to tell Kame…

“I’m sorry for always saying stupid things.”

***

Kame had never shown anyone but Jin knew better. He knew that the younger man would cry when he was alone. Every time Jin saw those sad, tired eyes, he would always have the urge to embrace Kame but something would always stop him.

Instead, he’d just say to himself…

“I’m sorry for making you cry.”

***

Maybe it was from the first time they laid eyes on each other, or maybe it was from the first time they gave each other a smile, all he knew was that Kame was and always be special to him. It took some time for him to realize his feelings but he understood them fully now. But he didn’t know how to tell the younger man.

For a long time now, he didn’t know what to say except…

“I’m sorry for not being able to tell you how much I love you.”

***

Nearing a particular door, he heard voices from the other side of the hall practicing singing a very familiar song.

“That time, that place, it will never disappear – this bond.”

Yes, this bond, their bond which had become weaker with the passing time. Jin wondered if it indeed would never disappear.

And almost as an impulse, he started to sing “Care” under his breath as he opened the door to their dressing room. He continued to sing even as he saw a familiar back sitting on the sofa. He passed the younger man without looking back, but in his heart, he wished he could just embrace the slim figure and whisper words of love. He wished he could just kiss those lips he had always longed for. He wished he could just blurt out his feelings.

But he couldn’t. They both couldn’t say what was in their hearts.

-END-

A/N: It's sucky.. T_T but I promised I would post it, so here it is.. Sorry.. >_<

[Drabble] Five Teardrops

2008-06-11T07:56:43Z

Title: Five Teardrops
Author: aijin_jin_17
Pairing: Akame
Genre: Angst, angst, angst
Rating: Totally Safe
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but Jin and Kame own my heart..♥
Summary: The reason for Kame's tears.. (I suck at summaries.. Sorry..T_T)

The young man sat on the sofa, his eyes full of sadness. It was just another day. But like all days, sadness clouded his heart. Why did he have to think so much anyway? He knew that the thoughts would only hurt him more but he never learned.

***

When Jin left for L.A., it hurt him so much. During the press conference, he tried so hard to keep a straight face and he was able to. Little did everyone know that his heart was almost breaking at the thought of Jin’s departure. Only he knew of the agony that would torture him everyday. That was a long time ago and Jin had already come back, but the pain was still there.

Drop.

The first tear fell from his eyes and he wiped it off.

***

He didn't know why and probably Jin didn't either. But they stopped calling each other by their nicknames. Now they call each other by their last names. Oh how those names were like poison burning his tongue, yet he has to say them everyday.

Drop.

Another tear fell and like the first one, he wiped it off.

***

Everyday was like a show. But it wasn’t a problem for him. He was used to it already. Maybe that’s just how entertainers lived. For years now, he had been hiding his real face from everyone. He had to pretend he was fine. He had to pretend that everything was perfect. They were all lies, but he had to make them seem like the truth. But all the pretending tugged painfully at his heart.

Drop.

The third one fell and he wiped it off once more.

***

He wondered if he would make a move, things would be different. All the “what ifs” in his head were screaming at him, making his head hurt. So much time had been lost already. The chances to be happy and carefree like they used to be slipped through his fingers like sand. He wondered if he would be able to get them back.

Drop.

The fourth tear fell but this time, he just let it fall.

***

He had always wanted to say those words. But he couldn’t. He didn’t know why. Maybe he was just afraid. He didn’t know how the older man felt for him but he was sure of what he felt for the other. Kame loves him, loves him with all his heart. He just couldn’t bring himself to say those three words. The burden of those three words in his heart was more than he could bear.

Drop.

The fifth and last tear fell and he was about to let it fall too when he heard someone come in. So he wiped it off completely. He could never show his tears to anyone. Never. He'd just have to keep it to himself. It was just another day after all.

The person who came in was singing “Care” quietly to himself but Kame would always recognize that smooth and alluring voice.

“For every tear shed, a smile awaits you.”

Now Kame wondered if those words would ever come true.

-END-

A/N: Err, if it’s not that obvious, Jin was the one who came in.. Anyway, it’s my first time to write pure angst so sorry if it's not that good.. And also because it's sort of a different style from what I write?.. I dunno.. XDDD.. I wrote this because, well, I had nothing to do and sitting alone makes me feel depressed.. LoL.. Maybe I could write in Jin's POV next time?.. *bricked*

EDIT: ZOMG!!!!!!.. Have you guys read the translation for "Ai no Command"?!?!?!?!?.. JKLSAFSNFJSGNSA.. Now i love this song even more!!.. XDDDD.. Clickie for the *cough*PERVINESS*cough*

First Blogcrew!.. ^^

2008-05-31T04:01:28Z

{Claim Here} told me:

"I always make MISTAKES, but there's one thing I do that's never wrong. And that's LOVING you."

♥♥♥

Code:

{Claim
Here}
told me:

"I
always make MISTAKES,
but there's one thing I do that's
never wrong. And that's
LOVING
you."

♥♥♥

RULES
- You can only claim persons from JE
- 2 claims per LJ user (3 if you're on my f-list), 5 persons per JE boy
- State your claim's full name and which group he's in.
- Add the code to your journal after I approved your claim
- Put "MISTAKES" in your subject
- ~~Name~~ means his spot is already full.
- Ryo Nishikido from NEWS and Ryo Nishikido from Kanjani8 are the same person.
- Tell me if your JE guy isn't here and I'll gladly add him up.
- I claim Jin Akanishi, so 4 spots left for him.. ^^
- And one spot foy Yuya Tegoshi, Shigeaki Kato and Nakajima Yuto are also reserved.. ^^

Arashi
Masaki Aiba - masakibum
Jun Matsumoto -
Kazunari Ninomiya - carcrashheart_8
Satoshi Ohno -
Sho Sakurai -

Tackey & Tsubasa
Hideaki Takizawa -
Tsubasa Imai -

NEWS
~~Tomohisa Yamashita~~ - freepureangel , pi_chu , martaeruroraito , sere_chan ,tenshi_no_koi
Ryo Nishikido - xlolitsnozomix , heroinlamb
~~Tegoshi Yuya~~ - forbidden_aya , tesshi_o8 ,masakibum , yuyako16 , carcrashheart_8
Keiichiro Koyama - lovemelody , se7engdragon , sere_chan , silver881
Takahisa Masuda - pi_chu , junno_aiba88 ,yuyako16 , tesshi_o8
Shigeaki Kato - forbidden_aya , sere_chan
Hiroki Uchi -
Hironori Kusano - junno_aiba88

Kanjani8
Yū Yokoyama -
Subaru Shibutani -
Shingo Murakami -
Ryūhei Maruyama -
Shota Yasuda -
Ryō Nishikido - xlolitsnozomix , heroinlamb
Tadayoshi Ōkura -
Hiroki Uchi - junno_aiba88

KAT-TUN
~~Kazuya Kamenashi~~ - sakuramushy27 , se7engdragon , xlolitsnozomix ,nikattun , tensaimaterial
~~Jin Akanishi~~ - aijin_jin_17 , sakuramushy27 , lovemelody , pi_no_tsuma , freepureangel
Junnosuke Taguchi - zeroxasuzaku ,sya_blizz , ainekaikan
Koki Tanaka - sya_blizz , sjfg
Tatsuya Ueda - ainekaikan , ayau3, xlolitsnozomix , tenshi_no_koi
Yuichi Nakamaru - sya_blizz , sjfg

Hey! Say! JUMP
Yuya Takaki - chibilover14
Daiki Arioka -
Kei Inoo -
Hikaru Yaotome -
Kota Yabu - freepureangel
Yuto Nakajima - horoeijiren , forbidden_aya , kazhy419 , pinky_fairy10
Ryosuke Yamada - strawberryrin , kazhy419 , pinky_fairy10
Yuuri Chinen - fuji_chan , tumblingrabbit
Ryutaro Morimoto - tumblingrabbit
Okamoto Keito - marchechizen , strawberryrin

Kis-My-Ft2
Nikaido Takashi - kate64100
Fujigaya Taisuke - eetsuko , yuya_lovah
Kitayama Hiromitsu - misakii